Please be careful.

Hi everyone! 

This is slightly different from what I usually post about, this isn't glamorous or girlie or inspiring, this is quite a downer if I'm honest.

Some might feel it's really gross? But I'm just being honest with what happened.

The other night I went to a house warming party, there was probably about 10 people there so it wasn't like it was packed. I went with my friend and apart from her i only knew one other person who was the host. 

I bought a bottle of Wine and think I got there at about 9, it took me till 11 to drink a little over half. I then called my friend who was in a pub to see if I could come meet her as I didn't feel ready to go home yet and the friend I had come with said she was feeling quite drunk and just wanted to go home. When I was in the Taxi I started feeling super dizzy and far drunker than I had moments before. 

I got into the pub, greeted my friend and then felt like I was going to be sick. 

I don't remember much after that.

From what I've been told my friend was unsure where I was, for ages she thought I was at the bar then got worried when she saw I wasn't, she called my boyfriend who apparently I had called already to say I wasn't well and he told her I was locked in a toilet. 

She came to find me and had to break into the cubicle where I was passed out being sick. 

I can't remember walking out but next thing I know I was in my boyfriends car unable to move or open my eyes or speak at some points etc, I was still being sick and my boyfriend was quite worried as he had never seen me like this. 

I did however say to my boyfriend inbetween drifting in and out of consiousness "I could walk home quicker than how youre driving" 

Always a charmer me.

Anyway, somehow again, I got into my house and next thing i'm on my bathroom floor, I was so disorientated I still thought I was out and i saw tunnel vision and could just make out colours really. Thank goodness my mum has odd taste and I have this weird rainbow rug on my bathroom floor as that was the only thing that made me realise I was home, it's so weird to explain. 

Adam, my boyfriend, was so amazing and the small memory I have, kept quite calm even though he was positive at this point that my drink had been spiked. I was like a ragdoll at times, just floppy!

I somewhat remember being in bed and STILL being sick, now I'm usually the type that if i've had too much to drink i'm sick once, I drink some water and I sleep it off. I've not exerienced anything like this. it's days later and I still don't feel right, I now feel like I have the flu and I'm just hoping its the drugs coming out of my system.

I'm too embarrassed to tell the host of the party, I'm scared people will just think "oh yeah whatever just cause you got so drunk" but it's weird, you know your body, you know when somethings not right, Adam knew instantly this wasn't just a case of too much Wine, no way.

I feel dumb cause I left my drink around so much, I cant remember if it tasted funny or if someone offered me a drink, I literally hardly remember anything. 

I have never been too concerned with drink spiking personally, thats embarrassing to admit, i guess i've just been ignorant but this has really shaken me. 

My friend and I have minesweeped in the past and thought we were hilarious and were fine, but I go to a small gathering and this happens? 

This has taught me to be so careful and a free drink is not worth your safety.

If it hadn't been for my friend Liz breaking into the toilet and Adam coming to my rescue who the hell knows what could have happened. They both looked after me amazingly and I feel so lucky that although it's unfortunate this happened to me, I'm one of the Lucky ones.

Whoever did this angers me so much, I don't know what they wanted to achieve from this but they must be such a sick person.

Please be careful guys, only trust your friends, I know I will be quite paranoid for a while now. 

Just stay safe and if you ever ever feel unwell make sure you call someone who is sober who can know where you are just in case you need help!

With so much love

xoxo

How to keep calm and carry on.

Keep calm and carry on has blown up. 

You can't deny maybe reblogging an edited version maybe of your favourite song or from a fandom.

 It's everywhere and too right it should be.

I feel it's such a simple slogan, even down to the design it's not trying to sparkle but obviously everybody has noticed that in fact it does.

I'm sure we all know how this dates back to the war, it's what us Brits lived by back when things got tough, there were no men around, women had to go work in factories for some, the first times in their lives. 

Women had to fight just like their men did - just not in trenches.

See I was born in England as were my parents but their parents were Irish meaning that back in war times, I believe they were all living over there.
You know when you're speaking with your grandparents and you expect them to go really deep and go off on a big conversation about how terrible it was and how far they had to walk for stuff? I expected this.
But no. She said "oh I remember the war, I remember seeing the War planes fly over my house in Ireland"

and you think "Oh Nan, that's terrible you must of been so scared"

and she replies "no, the war was with England, I was in Ireland, It didn't bother me I liked seeing the planes"
Oh, Ok, fair enough Nan!

Anyway, it's made a comeback and I believe if it got us though that, it can get us though anything!

How to Keep Calm & Carry On:

 Lists. Lists can get you though anything. They give you a sense of control and help clear you mind. List what you want to do for jobs or what activities you enjoy doing. Just ramble them out without thinking sometimes, it's only you that will see it so write whatever you want! 

 Playlists. Create an inspiring playlist on your iPod to get you in a happier mood. Think back to a great holiday or time in your life you were on top of the world, listen to that music and think of how to get back to that person who fell in love with that song

 Talk. Find somebody you trust and just say how you feel. I've felt down for weeks and not known why I was feeling like that. If I had kept it to myself I would never have got to the bottom of it.

 Learn when to listen. Listen to people trying to help, ignore people who feel they somehow have a say in your life. Don't let anybody tell you that what you're upset about doesn't matter. People who say "So your cats ill, my grandparents ill too you don't see me crying" you know that person? Ignore them. Your problem is important and everything seems worse when it's happening to you. Don't let anybody tell you what to feel.

 Be your own best friend. Imagine your best friend was having this problem, what would you tell them to do? If its their job, would you help them look for a new one? Would you help them study if their grades are getting them down? It's easy to get clouded with your problem when you're consumed by it, take a step back and think.

 Reruns. Oh it sounds weird and so not inspiring but watching The Hills back to back has kept me going when I've felt like last months trash.

 Ask. Ask for help, ask for advice, ask to hear stories. If you and your friend has fallen out bigtime ask your mum or aunt or anyone you're close to what happened when they were in a similar situation, you'll see you're not alone and there are ways to fix every problem.

 Don't run away. I know you'll want to run away and put off the problem but honestly, the quicker you face it, own up to the issue the sooner you'll be giving it the finger and moving on. bury your head in the sand for a second maybe, but the longer you're there the more you'll be afraid to come out.

 You are never alone. Your family might not be supportive but no matter how large your problem is there are people to help. Charities are set up for just about everything these days. Use them. Even just for a chat, they'd never turn anyone away!

Remember, always just keep calm, never make any big decions in panic mode, you'll more likely than not create a bigger problem for yourself.

Everything always has to get better, remember every other time you thought your world was crumbling, when you and your boyfriend broke up and you were so incredibly upset you couldn't get out of bed. Well look at you now. You got up, you didn't let it defeat you. And you will survive this too.

It can take months and you might be scared that you'll never get out the other side, but you will because you have before. 

Please never hesitate to drop me a message if you ever feel alone.

I hope you're all okay and remember to cringe that you fell for a second maybe but stand up laugh it off and carry on walking like you're on a Victoria's Secret runway

(remember when Carrie Bradshaw fell on that fashion runway - yeah don't do that)

With so much love

xoxoxo