The first day of the rest of my life...

hello pretty mcvitties! i'm so sorry for my last little moaner post, I was feeling super low and needed a break from everything. I got stuck in at work even though it was making me sad and i've had a lot of lovely things said about me by the right people.

When I was feeling my life wasn't going fab I applied for a few jobs in Primary Education and closed my computer, probably ate and forgot about them quite frankly.

This morning I however woke up with a cold and a job interview. I really did not know which one was making me feel more sick.

It was for a teaching assistant and it was going to be a telephone interview either today or tomorrow. I was so nervous!!!! I'm usually quite iffy on the phone so I was terrified!

I waited all day by my phone then decided a quick 15 minute trip to tesco for dinner was needed. I forgot my phone so of course when I came back there was a missed call from an unknown number

OH CRUMBS!

I emailed the company and apologised and luckily they rang again, of course whilst my niece was playing with my phone watching sean the sheep on youtube! I answered the phone and this voice which so was not mine came out, it was my nervous chatty quirky voice. Perfect, i'm not even being sarcastic, i needed this fake confidence and I don't have it naturally. 

You might wonder why I don't just fake confidence the whole time if it works so well, I don't know either, it crops up and i pull it off sometimes and other times, its just not there. It's weird!

But I was chatty, fun and seemed to be saying all the right answers. 

I had a great time talking to the lad Max on the other end but unfortunatly I didn't get it. So why am i feeling so upbeat?

Well, because he is in the field I want to be in and he liked me.

He said for 21 I was so sensible, I have a great head on my shoulders, I'm well spoken, polite and that I was the nicest person he'd spoken to in months which means he'd really enjoyed speaking to me. He did say my knowledge needed improving on which I so agree with but he added that you can  learn knowledge but personality you either have or you dont. 

I've never been a girl who can speak to just anyone, I'm quite shy sometimes and I get intimidated easily so to hear that actually, he thought I was great  is just lovely because I have that real confidence I fake deep down I just have to use it more!!!

He gave me a few tips on courses to help improve my knowledge and then said "once you get that knowledge you're going to make an excellent teacher, all you need is to sit in an interview and after 3 minutes they'll be begging for you to be at their school" which is just the biggest compliment ever.

So, a few days I felt so low I wanted to give up on everything but being so low it made me apply for that job, speak to that guy and be given the BIGGEST boost I needed, plus it showed me i'm aiming for the right thing, I can do this.

It's amazing how things work out. I feel back to normal really. I've dyed my hair back to my natural brown, I've had a day out with my sister for a little pick me up and I am so happy.

I spent far too much money in Hollister but i'm happy, haha!!

Thank you whoever made it this far, this entry might be more for me than you really but I hope it inspires you maybe!!

If you feel like giving up, feel it. Feel how horrible you feel and with that turn it into something great.

If its your job, go apply for more.

If its your friends, drop them a text and go for a drink.

If its your education, go look up how to get more qualifications.

I'm all for feeling sorry for yourself when you feel down, really, but also if you feel that down, you can always do something to bring YOURSELF back up.

I hope you're all well and please message me if you ever relate to anything I write about, I'd love to hear what everyone else does when they're down and any personal experiences.

With love