"and a cloud of dust crosses the finishing line..."

Hiiiii beauty queens! Saturday is here & I hope you're all loving the freezing cold sunshine because I so am, mitten weather!!

Today was the Cancer Research race for life in my town! I only run to the fridge or if i see a sale so it wasn't i who was taking part but my super fast sister! 

She recently joined a running club and realised she's a super pro runner so her life has turned into that similar to road runner (without the coyote chasing her which is actually quite key in road runners life so really i just mean hey, she runs a lot!)

She entered in memory of my late great Granddad Johnny who died of Lung cancer bless him and my brave inspiring Nanny Trisha who beat the slim odds and survived colon cancer! 

This morning I woke up feeling like I was on deaths door myself, my toothache made me want to cry and my stomach was being all sad and then my time of the month came a calling so I turned into a hedgehog (I wish literally they're so cute) and became a ball of self pity, I told my mum I wasn't going to go to the race for life (which I could hear super loud in my bedroom playing powerful girl ballads) and I carried on meowing into my pillow cause I do that. 

It started at 11 so I thought, they won't leave till like 10.40 right? Wrong. They left at like 10 which I felt okay enough to go by that time so I heard the door slam and I realised they'd left me *whimper* so I sat there thinking "Do I? Don't I?" then i decided "I do!!" and jumped out of bed, changed clothes and just stuck my sunnies on to hide the lack of face I was rocking. I was only 5 minutes behind them but I could not catch them up for anything could i?! I was running!! I ran the whole way there! My throat was closing up cause I was all hungry and dying and stuff I was like WHY MUST I RUN?! But I am so glad I went! My other sister came too so we had fun!

My sister was doing the 10k and her running club gave her a target of 43 minutes or something? Well she did it in 42!!! Hells yeah, that shit is craaaay! She over took most of the 5k runners and was the first 10k runner to cross the finish line and although Race for Life isn't all about winners, she bloody won, okay!!

I am so super proud of her, imagine doing that? I've never won anything like that, maybe like a food eating competition but thats not something to be proud of!! 

So my sister had a target of £100 and she made £135! So well done, that's a big amount to be helped for people with cancer (Eff you cancer seriously) and if anyone feels they would like to sponsor her please do! Click here! It would mean so much as who hasn't been affected by cancer? That's what is so great about race for life really because other stuff it's so easy to bury your head in the sand as you can't relate to it! Like the dancing bears or those sweet donkeys! It's like they're terribly sad, but it's easy to ignore, cancer you can't as it's everywhere the daemon that it is!

I don't mean to lower the tone so apologies! But a big yay to my sister who is definitely barking mad for being able to run so fast but amazing none the less!!

Did you do race for life this year? 

Or anything similar? Let me know :)

Love 

xoxo

Stay Strong ♥

image belongs to and is of Demi Lovato who inspired me to write this.

When I think about all the things I have in my life it makes me feel so special! 

I was going to write lucky, then I thought that none of it is luck, I worked hard for what I have.

For my job, i had to go and complete 3 years of college that I didn’t enjoy 60% of the time then work in a job that I would literally go home and cry a lot of the time because I was so miserable just so I was doing something with myself so I could improve.

For my wonderful boyfriend, I had to overcome horrible setbacks and rejections and try my hardest not to lose myself when all I wanted to do was become a shell, I just think it’s so perfect that we don’t have to work at our relationship, it just works itself.

For my family there were times I refused to love them because I was so hostile and upset at everything that was going on, sometimes it feels wrong to give my mother a hug which I’m still trying to work hard at to overcome.

And for my friends, some have come and gone, some we can pick up where we left off without being in eachothers pockets, but then theres the ones I refuse to lose and I need to overcome issues with, I can’t just ignore them, because I feel without them in my life I would just crumble. Friendships are so tough because everyone puts up with so much but when I think of all the stuff we’ve been though all the years, it really puts everything into perspective of why people have stuck around. It’s hard for everyone but it makes you all better people.

I really love my life. It’s not perfect or glamorous but I really love it. I see myself being happy for a long time no matter what happens unexpectedly. 

I didn’t write this to make anyone feel less about themselves because I really don’t think I have anything to even do that with, I just feel my life is for me, it’s how it should be, and I think we should all really sit back and think about why things happen and if it’s because of something you did but for the good, not for faults.

I’ve been told I’m strong and I somewhat believe it. I’m 21 and happy, my life isn’t searing in any straight direction but I think it’s getting there. Maybe I am lucky, but maybe I deserve what I worked for too :)!